Konoha High Randomness!
by Jadedbabe22
Summary: Sakura and all her friends enroll in the most prestigious school in the country, Konoha High. With all the lovliness that comes along with being a teenager in a world ruled by teachers, parents, and the fuzz. Highschool Fic with lots of randomness and humor! Enjoy! Rated M just in case things get funky! XD
1. Shamoo?

**Author's Note- HEY GUYS! This is my very first fanfiction and I really hope you like it! It's a GaaSaku high school AU because right now that's my favorite couple! So read and review! Constructive criticism is love!**

**(*.*) # WAFFLE!**

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The pink haired kunoichi was sleeping peacefully in her room until…NARUTO DIVES THROUGH HER WINDOW and hides under the covers of her bed followed by a very angry looking Sasuke with radiated fish eggs all down his shirt and half his head shaved.

"NARUTO I SWEAR TO KAMI IF YOU DON'T GET OUT OF THEIR RIGHT NOW I WIL-!"

He was cut off immediately by a pink laptop to the face and a lot of cussing by the oh so morning person still under the covers with Naruto. Rising out of the bed and pulling Naruto with her she gave both of them a yelling at that would put Tsunade's to shame.

"WHY ARE YOU BOTH HERE AT 7:30 IN THE MORNING, AND WHY DOES SASUKE LOOK LIKE HE JUST GOT RAPED BY SHAMOO?!"

Naruto scratched the back of his head giving that foxy grin of his and said "Well you see we were at the market on our way here and I saw a shiny penny on the ground and I went to grab it bu-!"

"You know what I don't want to know anymore. Just leave and let me SLEEP for kami's sake!" "But Sakura-chan!" Naruto whined. "We gotta go! School starts in 30 minutes, and it's our first day of highschool!"

"No it's not. School doesn't start until next week on the….. 17….." She said trailing off looking at her calendar which did in fact say today was the 17.

Screaming at the two morons to get out of her room so she can get ready she slammed her door and ran into her bathroom to take a really fast shower and to do all the innumerous girly things girl's have to do before going out such as brushing her hair, brushing her teeth, and killing her mom in her mind for forcing her to go to one of the most prestigious schools on the continent where she has to deal with Naruto, the bitches, the dicks, and everything else thrown her way.

Finished getting ready she came out of her room with her Long waist-length pink hair down, and wearing her uniform consisting of a short-sleeve white oxford shirt, and a navy skirt that went mid-thigh.

Running down the stairs she met Naruto and Sasuke in her kitchen wolfing down pancakes her mom just made. Grabbing her bookbag and the two dumbasses taking advantage of her mom she ran out the front door and yelled a hasty goodbye to her mom.

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**There is the little sequel. I hope you liked it and please review!**

**~Jadedbabe**


	2. If We Came From Monkeys and Apes?

**YAY! It's chapter two of Konoha High Randomness! Enjoy, whoever is kind enough to take the time to read my random babblings!**

_Sakura's Thoughts_

_Sakura's Inner_

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoOo **

Sakura ran out the door, friends in tow, and into the sunshine of the morning, that went right into her eyes blinding her for a second and making her trip on the steps, dragging the others with her into an uncomfortable heap on the ground.

Getting her bearings she looked down and saw Naruto under her, and found Sasuke's face five inches from hers. Feeling her face heat up she yelled at him to get off before he noticed her red cheeks with which he responded with his trademark "Hn."

Getting off of Naruto she dusted herself off while Naruto grumbled to himself on the ground "Geez Sakura-chan. Why are you so heavy?"

Feeling a vein pop on her unnaturally large forehead Sakura turned around and glared at the unassuming boy before hitting the dumb blond repeatedly over the head with her backpack "I AM NOT FAT! YOU'RE JUST A WIMP WHO CAN'T BENCH A CAREBARE WITH A POLE STUCK UP ITS ASS!

Fuming, she stomped away from the sad sight of Naruto bleeding to death on the ground from a gash on his head with Sasuke smirking and telling him he deserved it.

Following the sidewalk to the school, Sakura was suddenly tackled by something loud, blond, and overly squirrely. "Whoa, down dog. I know you're excited to see me, but you don't have to go and rape my leg."

Huffing Ino got off of her and helped her up. "I'm just trying to be optimistic for our first day of high school! We gotta make a good impression!" Ino was wearing the same thing as Sakura except the shirt was tighter and the skirt was shorter.

"Common let's hurry Sakura!"Ino whined

"Why are you so excited? It's just school not like we're gonna miss anything!"Sakura said exasperated.

"I know but I want to get their quick so we can get dibs on all the hotties!"

"Really, we haven't even seen what any of the guys are like and you already want to call dibs on them?" Sakura asked.

"Of course it's the only reason I can get up in the morning without being an emotional train wreck like you!"Ino laughed running ahead of her friend. Hurrying to catch up, they arrived at the school. Towards the entrance they saw a bunch of scary looking seniors standing around the front doors eyeing the two girls like fresh meat. Suppressing a shiver Sakura muttered to Ino "We should hurry up and get inside these guys are kinda CREEPY~" Nodding Ino followed her through the group of men when one of them randomly reached out and grabbed Sakura around the waist and pulled her towards him.

"Well looky what we got here." He chuckled. Looking her up and down. Looking up at her captor, Sakura's eyes widened in horror.

IT WAS SHAMOO!

"OH MY KAMI IT'S SHAMOO PLEASE DON'T RAPE ME LIKE SASUKE!" she cried right before kicking him where the sun don't shine.

Collapsing on the ground he grabbed his girls and swore some very crude words at her while the rest of his group of juvenile delinquents just burst out laughing at his obvious pain.

"Wow! You just got rejected!" A guy… or so Sakura thought… started laughing. Sobering up the she-man put his arms around Sakura's shoulders "You're ok bubblegum."

Sakura inwardly twitched_. Bubblegum? _

"My name's Deidara and the poor bastard you just emasculated is Kisame along with Pein, Konan, Tobi, Itachi, Kakuzu, and Hidan. What's your name, yeah?" He asked pointing to the fish boy, a dude with way too many piercings, a really pretty girl with a paper flower in her hair, a boy with a lollipop for a mask that kept asking everyone if he was a good boy, a guy who looked strangely like Sasuke but not as emo, a dude in the corner counting money, and someone with white hair that was looking at her like he wanted to disembowel her. But before she could tell them her name Ino came up and bitch slapped the transvestite holding her.

"Hey chick, what do you think you're doing to my friend? You bitch!" Turning around holding his now red cheek the blond death glared Ino "I AM A GUY! Just because I am more beautiful than you doesn't mean you can go bashing my manhood, yeah!"

Ino just sat there staring at him like he was crazy… which he probably was.

"Well I would love to stay and chat but… me and Ino here gotta go and… feed our pet iguana locked up in the janitor's closet… Yeah let's go with that. So we'll see you guys around." And with that they sprinted into the school and to the office where they got their schedules from the kind lady named Shizune and her pig, Tonton.

"Let's see I have homeroom with who do you have Sakura?" Ino asked ripping open her envelope.

"Oh, cool I have him for homeroom to!" Squealing the two girls hopped off to their homeroom and first hour.

Stopping right outside the door they breathed a breath of relief. "At least we made it here on time." Ino said opening the door to go inside, but before they could open it all the way a crabby irate red head ripped the door open and glared at both of them before strolling away. "Well, hello to you to." Sakura said before hesitantly opening the door, afraid some other juvenile delinquent would come barreling out.

"Oh just go in already." Ino huffed and pushed her in making her trip on the obviously invisible turtle on the ground thus making her fall face first onto the ground in front of all her new classmates. Looking up Sakura could see all eyes on her as she slowly got up and dusted herself off, while giving the class an awkward smile she flipped them off, daring them to say something. After a second they all turned around and resumed what they were doing which was making out, throwing paper airplanes, stuffing a kid in the trash, and lighting their textbooks on fire, you know the usual.

Seeing that there were two seats at the back near the window they bee-lined for them hoping not to get caught in the chaos of teenage life.

Sitting down in the seat closest to the window Sakura turned to see a fragile looking girl with midnight hair and pale eyes looking at her hesitantly before leaning over and asking "I-is it your f-first day here?"

Smiling at the girl she answered "Yeah me, my friend here, and some others are new. My name's Sakura and this blond bimbo is Ino. What's your name?"

"H-hinata Hu-Huuga."

"Well, it's nice to meet you Hinata-chan. By the way where's the teacher?" Sakura asked looking around the room in case he was hiding in a crevice watching them.

"Oh, is always late He should be here before the hours up though." She answered smiling gently.

"Wait isn't it like against teachers genetics to be late or something?" Sakura asked turning back to Hinata but found that she was reading a book with headphones in.

Huffing she turned around back to Ino when the bell rang and in came two of the delinquents that were out in front of the school. It was the lollipop boy, Tobi if she remembered right, and Dediara.

The whole class stopped whatever unholy thing they were doing and stared at them as they made their way to the two last seats in the back row conveniently right next to Sakura and Ino.

_Oh goody _Sakura though morbidly turning away towards Ino and hoping they wouldn't recognize her.

_Like that's gonna work you're the only chick with pink hair on the continent. _Inner Sakura drawled obviously bored of the drama-less summer Sakura had. If you could call dealing with Naruto and Ino, two of the dumbest blonds on the planet drama-less.

_Funk off inner! Aren't you supposed to be off banging someone else's inner? _Sakura complained.

_Well I was but he was starting to get to clingy like I actually cared for him. _Inner scoffed.

Coming back from her conversation with inner she found girly-boy just staring at her like he just asked a question.

Feeling her face heat up she looked at him sheepishly. "Could you repeat that? I wasn't listening."

Giving her a cocky grin he was about to reply when yet again their conversation was interrupted by the teacher finally arriving.

Looking up Sakura was faced with a tall man wearing a black mask covering his mouth, and a black headband covering his left eye where you could just see a grey scar sticking out from underneath.

"YOUR LATE!" The whole class screamed pointing at the teacher, while he just crinkled his eye sheepishly. "Well you see there was a giant spill of radiated fish eggs blocking off half the roads so I had to take another way here, but then there was this black cat an-!"

"LIAR!" Half the class screamed before he could finish with his nonsensical tale.

Sweat-dropping he turned to the class. "Well seeing we only have a couple minutes remaining your assignment is a one page essay on this question. If we evolved from monkeys and apes, why do monkeys and apes still exist?"

And with that the teacher sat at his desk and pulled out an orange colored book and began reading.

Sighing, Sakura leaned back I her chair. How in the hell was she supposed to know that?

**OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo OoO**

**Well I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! There's not that much humor yet because they are still getting introduced and everything but I'll try to get more in as it goes! Review and you get to see a wet shirtless Gaara! ;D**

**-Jadedbabe**


	3. We Vanquish the Watermelons! Part 1

**OH MY CHEESEBALLS GUYS! I actually got a review and I'm soo excited! So here's chapter 3! I really hope you guys like it! **

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Naruto! (YAY! I finally remembered to say that!)**

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Sakura just got back from her first day of school, and let's just say she wasn't in the mood to frolic through a meadow while singing it's a wonderful world.

_'It's official. I'm going to have to kill someone. Maybe I should invite Naruto over.' _Sakura cackled evilly while going over the day's events in her head.

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**FLASHBACK BITCHES! XD**

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The bell rang for the end of first hour and Sakura quickly rushed out the door hoping to avoid another run in with pretty boy. But alas Kami apparently hates her guts so of course she has to fall on her face going out the door and get trampled by all the students rushing to get out. Trying and failing to get back up she waited painfully for all the kids on acid to get out the door and off of her battered form before she DIED! Finally the last of the kids were out the door and she painfully got up to see none other than the Ino look alike standing there holding back his laughter at her distress.

Sakura gave him her deadliest glare that she reserved only for Naruto. "One word and I will castrate you in your sleep." He paled slightly and backed away. "No need to get all hot and bothered Pinky! I was just gonna check and see if you were okay. I was afraid you weren't going to get back up after big bertha there was done with you." I blushed and grabbed my books walking away. "Whatever."

"Hey wait up Bubblegum! What class do you have next?" Deidara asked running up and grabbing my books from me. I sighed and reluctantly gave him my books. "Science with Orochimaru Sensei? What the hell kind of name is that? Sounds like something you hear when someone throws up."

"Cool I have that next too. And if you think his name is weird just wait until you actually see him. I had nightmares for days afterwards." He shuddered and pretended to gag. Sakura just laughed and kept walking thinking that maybe the cross dresser wasn't that bad. They made their way to the science classroom and the first thought Sakura had when she went in was '_OH MY KAMI it's Michael Jackson hide your young boys!'_

She turned to run to the back of the classroom and grabbed Deidara dragging him with her. "You didn't tell me our teacher was Michael Jackson! Now I don't have time to look on eBay for a human sacrifice to appease him! Do you know what happens when he is not appeased? Bad things happen, bad things." He looked at her like she was insane. "Are you on crack?" She smiled sheepishly. "Okay maybe I accidently had a little on the way to school. But that's not the point! The point is-" "Miss Haruno if you would please pay attention and not flirt during my lesson I would really appreciate it." Sakura looked up to see the class snickering at the two of them and the teacher giving her an I'm this close to hurting you really bad smile that made her shiver. She was about to argue that she would never flirt with she-man here when the door burst open and in came the creepy red-head crackpot that looked like he had a little too much acid on the way here and was currently having a nice acid trip killing everyone with a blunt stick. Not that that was a bad thing but with the way he was suddenly looking her up and down she was afraid that he would drag her into the nearest closet and rape her. Eyeliner dude started walking towards Sakura, ignoring the teacher demanding why he was late, and she felt Deidara stiffen next to her. Looking at him she saw him lean towards her and block the red heads sight of her like he was afraid red over there would hurt her. But the red-head just sat down in the corner and took out a notebook and started writing something.

Deidara relaxed slightly, but Sakura could still see him glancing at the boy every now and then. She grabbed his sleeve. "Hey Dei what was with that boy? You seemed kind of tense." He looked over to me and relaxed. "That's Gaara Sabaku. He's somebody you really don't want to mess with. He's put five people in the hospital since he came here, two of them were girls. Let's just say he's got a really bad temper and he's not afraid to hit a girl. I'd stay away from him if I were you." Sakura glanced back at Gaara and frowned. "Okay note to self stay away from red-haired delinquent. I can handle that!" Deidara just shook his head and smiled while turning towards the teacher to take notes.

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Deidara said goodbye to Sakura and said he'd see her in Art. Sakura looked at her schedule and groaned.

_I really don't want to go to Math! Do you think you could autopilot this one out for me Inner?_

_No, I have date with a really hot red-headed Inner in a couple of minutes and I'm pretty sure things are going to get heated fast._

_Oh Kami my brain! I really didn't need that mental image that you just sent of you banging Gaara's Inner! And I can't believe you would go for a psychopath like that. I thought you said you liked business suits._

_They were okay for a while, but you get bored you know? I'm more into the chains and whips now! Oh look at the time! I gotta go tata! Remember to use protection while I'm gone! I don't want to come back and have to deal with mini Gaara's running around okay?_

And with that Sakura was left with the incredibly disturbing thoughts of her and a naked Gaara getting it on, courtesy of Inner. Trying to purge her brain she unsteadily made her way to the Math classroom and sat down waiting for Asuma-sensei to start class. Or better yet for someone to come over and put her out of her misery, and sadly enough to say her wish was granted with a hyped up on coffee Naruto.

"HEY SAKURA-CHAN! How has your day been going?"

_Oh kami help me. _"Naruto stop being so loud or I will get the holy box out!" He narrowed his eyes. "You wouldn't!" Sakura looked at him with that deathly serious look. "I don't know… I still think you're demon spawn… I mean seriously who can eat that much ramen?" He looked at her indignantly. "Ramen is the food of the gods! And only their chosen people can eat it without restraint and not be consumed by its goodness!" Sakura just stared at him. "And that's why you should be locked in the holy box." He was about to argue more when Asuma interrupted him by trying to explain linear equations to kids who'd rather be at home jerking off to Call of Duty than be here.

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_I'm in hell. _Sakura sighed inwardly. _So how was your date Inner? _Inner squealed. _Oh my kami he is perfect! He's good in bed and an expert at cooking! But he's a little sadistic. I mean seriously the little bastard thought it funny to bite my- __Don't you DARE finish that sentence!_

_Fine. But you should seriously talk to that Gaara dude cause if he's anything like his inner demon boy then you should seriously consider letting him tie you to a bed and-_

_LEAVE! Leave. Just leave Inner I think I have been scarred enough by you today. _Inner huffed. _Fine but don't say I didn't suggest it. _And with that Inner left her to thoughts of a certain red-head and a bed.

For the second time that day Sakura made her way unsteadily to her next class which was Art with Blondie. She entered the classroom and saw Deidara at the back waving her over to a table with that Sasori dude.

Sakura plopped in the seat next to Deidara. "Hey, Dei what's up?" He didn't respond to her and she noticed him messing with something in his lap. She looked over and her eyes widened. "Deidara. Please tell me that is not what I think it is." He looked up and smirked."Well if you think that it's a duck than I can put your mind at rest." Sakura twitched. "Deidara, why the hell are you making a bomb in the back of the Art classroom?" He looked at her funny. "Well I was thinking of blowing something up obviously. I was just trying to figure out how much gun powder to put in." He looked at it for a second then shrugged and poured the whole thing in and sealed it. Sakura banged her face on the desk. This was going to be a long class.

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After an hour of trying to convince Deidara blowing up the gym was a bad idea Sakura made her way to the lunchroom where she promised she would meet up with Ino.

She entered the room to find Ino talking animatedly with some guy that looked like his head was a giant pineapple. Walking up to her she flicked Ino on the nose. "What poor soul are you torturing now with your incessant rambling?" Ino smacked her hand away. "This is Shikamaru and he happens to like talking to me. Right Shika?" Sakura looked over towards him and he gave her a look that said 'kill me now and I will forever be your slave.' Sakura sighed and looked back at Ino. "Well I hate to break up your little love fest here but I really need to tell Ino something. That okay with you _Shika_?"He looked so relieved. "Whatever." And with that Sakura dragged her friend away and into a remote corner of the room to eat lunch and talk about what God awful things that had happened that morning.

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Sakura went to Literature after lunch where nothing interesting really happened, unless you can call Naruto mooning the teacher and running out yelling the fuzz will never catch me normal… Currently Sakura is in the locker rooms changing into the P.E. uniform which has a Black shirt and red shorts which does nothing to preserve a girl's modesty. She sighed and walked out into the giant gym. Walking over she sat with Sasuke and Naruto who were currently trying to figure out the best way to murder the science teacher and hide his body in a well. Sakura smacked her head against the bleacher and waited for the teacher to hurry the hell up and start the lesson. She heard a door bang and looked up to see two green… Things… come in and the larger green blob started yelling. "So my young youthful students I will be your teacher and you will do what your youthful teacher says! And that is to go outside and run five hundred laps on the track!" Sakura just stared at him as the smaller green blob and some of the students started getting up to go outside. _He's kidding right? _She looked around at the other students and saw they all looked dead serious. She hit her head against the bleachers again… and again. _Oh Kami please kill me! PLEASE! _Sakura sat there for five more minutes repeatedly hitting her head against the wood hoping to knock herself out when she was suddenly being dragged outside by her legs. She looked up and death glared the two boys holding her legs. "Sasuke if you don't let go of me I will put that video of you and a cup on the internet. And Naruto I will burn all your Ramen." They dropped her immediately and backed away. "Please Sakura-chan don't hurt the ramen. Think about the children!" Naruto said while clutching his shirt where his heart is. "No I take that back I will tie you to a chair and make you watch as I burn your ramen." Sakura said walking away towards the door that led to the track field.

Walking out with the two dipshits behind her she stopped to survey the damage. Half of the class was collapsed on the ground seemingly dead while the other half were still running, barely alive, and tripping over their fallen classmates. "Isn't this illegal or something?" Sakura asked eyeing the kid who was crawling towards her mouthing something along the lines of 'kill me please.' "I would hope so. And what the hell _is_ he doing?" Sasuke asked pointing up towards the middle of the field where the two green blobs were hugging. Sakura shuddered watching them and figured out what needed to happen. The green beasts of Konoha must die by her hands! And with that she grabbed a conveniently placed shovel and turned to the two boys next to her. "The time has come for a revolution! You grab the tyrants from the back and I will knock them out with this here blunt weapon!" They stared at her for a couple of seconds and then shrugged making their way towards the middle of the field. When they were all in position Sakura gave them the thumbs up and they moved in catching them by surprise and holding their hands behind their backs. Sakura looked down at them. "Your time of tyranny is over watermelons!" And with that she hit them both in the face with the shovel. "Let us mark this day my fellow brethren, the day we took back our freedom from the evil zucchini!" Sakura then promptly stuck the shovel in the ground and looked around to see all kids already passed out on the ground from exhaustion. "We were too late to save them… Oh well. Here help me hide the bodies in that ditch over there!" The two boys grabbed the two bodies and dragged them to the ditch where they covered them in dirt. "Um… Sakura-chan you don't think you took this a little too far?" Sakura stared at the bodies for a second and shrugged. "Nah. The deserved it. Come on let's go the bell's about to ring and I don't want to be late for Geography!"

Sakura skipped back to the locker rooms and changed. Making her way to the Social Studies classroom Sakura met up with that Hinata chick from first hour. They walked to the classroom and sat down in the middle with a girl named Tenten and Naruto. The teacher walked into the classroom and introduced himself as Iruka. "Okay class your first assignment for the year will be a partner project on Ancient Greece." Everyone groaned. "I will be picking partners of course." Lots of cussing. "Here are the partners. Hotara and Dar…" Sakura droned out her voice until she heard her name being called. "..Sakura and Gaara, Hinata and Naruto. Those will be your partn-" Sakura stood up. "Aww hell no! I am not being partnered with the emo boy in the corner that cuts himself and kicks puppies!" Gaara death glared her. "Not like I would want to be partnered with a skank that has cheaply died pink hair." Sakura twitched and ever so slowly took her books off her desk and set them on the floor before picking the desk up and throwing it at Gaara. "My hair is NATURAL GOD DAMMIT! And just because someone has pink hair doesn't mean they are a skank you conceited asshole! Go and rot in a whole!"

Sakura rambled on and on while throwing anything within her grasps at him, while he just sat there ever so calmly dodging everything she threw at him. Iruka finally broke it up. "Sakura stop throwing things and sit down! He will be your partner whether you like it or not!" Sakura begrudgingly picked her desk up from on the floor by the door and sat down. Iruka continued. "Okay so grab a packet off my desk that will further explain the assignment and meet up with your partner to get arrangements on when to work on your project. Begin!" He sat back down as they students rushed to get a packet and start talking to their partners.

Sakura grabbed the packet and walked over to Gaara. He was sitting in his desk reading some giant ass book. Sakura sat down in the desk next to him and started reading the packet out loud until she noticed he wasn't paying the slightest bit of attention to her. She set the packet down and grabbed the chair next to her. "Little red head mutt. I'll get his attention…" She cackled under her breath evilly before breaking the chair over his head. "Ow! What the fuck is wrong with you, you crazy bitch!" Gaara screamed while rubbing the back of his head. "It's not my fault you weren't listening~ So shut the fuck up and pay attention!" Sakura yelled while picking the paper up. Gaara grumbled. "Fucking bitch." Sakura twitched. "Dickhead."

"Whore."

"Asswipe."

"Slut."

"Cuntlicker!"

"Fuckwad!"

"Cocksucker!"

"Fuck you!"

"Really? When?" Sakura raised her eyes suggestively. Gaara looked at her. "What the fuck is wrong with you?" Sakura started picking at her nails. "I don't know my mom says I breathed in too many fumes as a baby." Standing up Sakura threw the paper at him. "Here you read this I already memorized it." He glared at her and got up to leave as the bell rang.

**Here's part one of chapter three! It's slightly longer than the first two. The second part should be up soon… Hopefully! Please Review it makes me happy!**

**~Sophie**


	4. We Vanquish The Watermelons! Part 2

**HERE'S ANOTHER AMAZING CHAPTER FROM MOI!...YEAH... I FINALLY DECIDED I SHOULD POST ANOTHER CHAPTER! SO I GOT MY LAZY ASS UP AND WROTE THIS WHILE HYPED UP ON A SHIZNIT LOAD OF MOUNTAIN DEW! ENJOY !**

Leaving the social studies Sakura took out her schedule and saw she had a free period for her last hour. Sighing in relief that she didn't have to go to another god awful class she made her way to the back field where a bunch of people were hanging out. Walking down the path she looked around and found Hinata, Tenten, Ino and some girl with four ponytails waving her over. "Hey Saks wassup?" Ino asked while painting her nails. Sakura raised her eyebrows at the new girl and Ino answered her before she had to ask. "That's Temari." The girl waved and gave me a peace sign. "Hey, nice to meetcha." Sakura smiled and sat down with them under the giant tree. "What have you guys been doing?" Ino looked up from her nails. "Well some of the teachers are in an uproar because a couple of the students assaulted the gym teachers." Sakura rubbed the back of her head and the girls looked at her. "They don't know who did it right?" Sakura asked. Ino sighed in exasperation. "Please tell me you weren't a part of it." Sakura giggled nervously. "Ummm… I wasn't a part of it….. I was the main part of it..." Sakura mumbled the last part but Ino seemed to hear. "Dammit Sakura! Weren't you at least trying to stay low? I mean seriously assaulting the gym teacher on the first day? Couldn't you have at least tried to wait a week before you got yourself suspended?! Do you know how bad that looks on your record? I mean seriously you can get put in juvy for that crap!" Ino ended her lecture by hitting Sakura over the head repeatedly with her science book. "Ow ow ow ow OW! Dammit Ino stop it! It's not my fault I thought he was an evil freaking watermelon tyrant that had to be stopped before he killed all the peasants and succeeded in world domination!" Ino stopped and looked at Sakura. "You know I don't think Albert fucking Einstein could figure out how your brain works." Sakura gave her a triumphant smile. "I try." Ino banged her head against the tree. Sakura could never figure out why people did that so much around her. "That wasn't a compliment dip shit." Sakura shrugged and turned to Temari and Tenten. "Hey do you guys happen to randomly have some condoms on you?" Temari dug in her bag for a second before pulling out a box of 500 super deluxe ecstasy condoms. "Yeah, how many do ya need?" The other girls gave her a weird look before Sakura took the box. "Oh just a few, I was thinking of…" Sakura stopped and opened the box with her eyes wide. "This box is half empty…" The girls all turned to her with disbelief on their faces. "Temari…" Ino began, "How did you manage to use 250 condoms?" Said girl smiled sheepishly and scratched the back of her neck in an oh so Naruto way and shrugged. "I don't know? They ran away to live in the land of gumdrops and telletubbies?" The girls sweat dropped before turning back to Sakura. Tenten raised her eyes at Sakura dumping a bunch of condoms into her bookbag. "Sakura what are you going to do with those. Sakura giggled nervously and threw the empty box back to Temari, ignoring her indignant 'what the hell' and closing her backpack. "Oh you know the normal… Oh wait… that wasn't the right way to put that… Ummm well you'll just have to see tomorrow." Sakura said with a cheery smile. Tenten just shook her head and got up as the bell rang with the other girls. "Well I gotta go and get home to get to my karate class. So I'll see you chickas later!" Temari started walking away too. "Yeah I gotta go my brothers will kick my ass if I'm late. Bye." Ino and Sakura waved bye to them and grabbed their stuff before slowly making their way out of the school.

They met up with Naruto, Sasuke, Deidara, and Some Shikamaru dude that Ino immediately tried to molest with her eyes, in the parking lot. "Hey are you guys doing anything tonight? Cause after this stressing day I think we should go do something fun!" Ino said jumping up and down like a little kid. They all agreed though some grudgingly, coughsasukeshikamarucough. They sat there talking trying to think of someplace that would be fun to go to.

Sakura jumped up and grinned mischievously. "Hey do you guys want to go to that new club thing they just refurbished over downtown!?" They looked at her and Shikamaru sighed. "Troublesome… One, we're not old enough, and two, it's a school night." Sakura pouted but started cackling mischievously before getting a brilliant idea. "Hey don't you guys have school ID's?" They all nodded. "Can I see 'em like real quick?" They looked at her cautiously before getting them out. She snatched Deidara's first and turned her back to them while taking a bunch of things from her backpack and messing with the ID a bit. She turned around abruptly and showed them all the new and not so improved ID. "See all you need to do is use a little bit of white out and a sharpie and change the age! It'll work perfectly! And they will be none the wiser!" Sakura threw the ID at Deidara and he looked at it before exclaiming indignantly. "Hey, un! Why am I thirty years old, un? And I don't have a mustache, un!" Sakura grinned and ignored him in favor of grabbing the rest of the ID's and writing in new ages between 21 and 30. She gave them back to everyone and they looked at them. "Hey why are you the only one who's twenty-one!?" Ino yelled at her seeing that she was twenty-nine. Sakura shrugged. "Because the bags under your eyes make you look older Ino-pig." Ino screeched. "I do not!" She pulled out a mirror. "I don't have bags under my eyes do I Shikamaru? I can't! That's not possible! I refuse to believe it! NOOOOO! My life is eeeennnndddiiinnnnggggg!" Ino crumbled to the ground sobbing. Sakura turned around and ignored her mumbling 'fucking baby' under her breath. "Sooooooooooo do you guys have a car?" Sakura asked cause her parents refused to buy her a car or take her to get her drivers license. Deidara and Shikamaru pulled out car keys. Deidara smirked "Pinkie's riding with me, un." Sakura sighed. "Fine but I call shotgun! Ino-pig, Sasuke you coming?" Ino popped up from the ground, apparently done with her seizure and ran over to Sakura while Shikamaru voiced a question that apparently managed to slip most of their minds. "Effing troublesome… What about our clothes? If they see us in high school uniforms then it'll be obvious that we're underage." Ino scoffed and Sakura smirked. "What the hell do you think we have Ino for?" They all looked at Ino. "What? I don't work the magic in front of just anyone. Turn your skinny little asses around and no peeking." They turned around reluctantly and heard fabric being slid across skin and clothing being dropped to the floor in a most delicious way. Deidara and Sasuke being the players they are turned their heads slowly to take a peek only to get a stiletto to the face. They fell to the ground in pain. "Uh uh uh. What did we tell you guys about peeking~" Ino said in a sing song way. "Hey Ino, can you zip me up?" Sakura asked while making sure the boys weren't peeking. "Yeah, here." Ino zipped her up and they turned back to the guys who were diligently turned away from them hoping to not get a concussion from the sharp footwear. "Guys you can look now~." Sakura cooed.

The boys turned around and all instantly got nosebleeds before fainting from blood loss. Ino was wearing a dark purple dress that barely covered her ass that had a v neck that went all the way to her mid stomach and had slits on the sides going down just as far with black stilettos that had silk straps winding up her calves. Sakura wore the same style of dress and shoes, except her dress was black with red stilettos. "I'm assuming you guys approve, so after you finish scraping yourselves off the pavement you can put these on while me and Ino here go get in the car." Sakura threw a small pile of clothes on each of the boys before grabbing Ino's arm and climbing into the car. The boys slowly looked at each other before slowly changing into the clothes the girls manifested for them.

Sakura and Ino sat in the car arguing and fixing their make-up.

"Come on Sakura just one look wouldn't hurt!" Sakura bit her lip while putting on some mascara contemplating whether it would be bad if she had just one peek. She put the tube down. "Fine. Just one look wouldn't hurt." Ino squealed and grabbed Sakura, pulling her down by the window so they wouldn't be seen.

Sakura felt her eyes bug out. "Oh. My. Kami." Ino nodded stunned next to her. Outside the boys were just finishing putting their shirts over their totally ripped bodies that would have any living chick drooling. They each had a t-shirt with a different band name on it, Naruto's being _Bowling For Soup_, Deidara's being _Beastie Boys, _Sasuke's being _Red, _and Shikamaru's being _Hollywood Undead. _They each had a different colored hoodie with jeans and combat boots. (A/N Make up your own colors cuz I'm too damn lazy to ;))

After seeing the guys turn around and head for the cars the girls quickly got back in their seats and composed themselves pretending they didn't see anything.

Sasuke and Deidara climbed in the car. "So we off then?" Deidara asked looking to the slightly flustered girl sitting next to him. Sakura nodded and he started the car and pulled out following the others in Shikamaru's car.

"Soooooo. Ino you gonna tell us how you fit all of this stuff in that Mary Poppins back pack of yours?" Deidara asked. Sasuke looked at her sitting next to him. "Hn. Here's a better question how the hell did you know all of our sizes and just conveniently have guy clothes in your bag?" Ino smiled widely. "I just always happen to have a lot of random stuff in my bag for random situations like this. You never know when you might need something." After that the boys dropped the subject and they made their way downtown to the club.

It was a busy night. Expensive cars were parked everywhere. People who were dressed in skanky clothes were spilling out of the club and into the parking lot where they were smoking, drinking, and mingling.

They parked and all jumped out of their cars. They walked up to the door where a bouncer was looking at ID's.

They all walked up and gave him their ID's. Ino turned to Sakura. "You're sure he'll buy this right? I mean you've done this before... Right?" Sakura giggled nervously. "Um well no I've never done but I mean seriously it's not like he's gonna look that closely at it!" Everyone looked at the bouncer who was squinting at it and concentrating really hard. They turned back to Sakura and gave a her a '_if I get arrested for this you're dead'_ look. Sakura paled and turned to the bouncer. "Can we go in cause it's awfully cold out here and me and my friend aren't dressed that warmly." Sakura said emphasizing her meaning by squishing her breasts together to try to warm herself. The bouncer got a nosebleed and gave them back their ID's before fainting. Everyone looked at Sakura and sweatdropped. Sakura shrugged. "What?" Ino just shook her head and grabbed her elbow pulling her through the door. "You're hopeless. You know that?" Sakura smiled and rubbed her cheek against Ino's in a lesbian way. "That's why I have you Ino-pig! You complete me!" Ino pushed Sakura off of her. "Oh my Kami, you're gay aren't you?" Sakura smiled even brighter. "If you mean happy then I am totally and one hundred percent gay!" Ino smacked her over the head and turned around to the guys. "So you guys want to go get a table while me and dumbass over here go get us some drinks?" Hn was pretty much the universal response.

Ino and Sakura turned around and went up to the bar. The bartender, who was a kind stubby old dude, turned to them. "What can I get you ladies?" Sakura smiled deviously. "Let's see…" She mumbled a few numbers under her breath while counting on her fingers before looking back up. "We need two strawberry daiquiris, six Budweisers, twelve shots of Smirnoff , and umm… ooh! Two of your Madras with extra vodka." The bartender looked at her and then at Ino. "You two looking to get wasted tonight or something?" Ino smiled. "No, we have a couple of friends were sharing with." He nodded then started to get their drinks ready. "You girls seem a little young to be here. How old are you?" Ino coughed nervously while Sakura smiled at him. "We're however old we need to be to be here." She winked at him and slid a couple bills over to him. His eyes widened and he smiled and gave them their drinks. "Yeah I get it you girls have fun and don't get into any trouble." They waved and walked back to where the boys were.

"Here, drink up boys! If those sticks aren't out of your asses in ten minutes I'm getting out the big bottle of Vodka!" Sakura and Ino grabbed the fruit drinks and sat down. The boys hesitantly took their drinks and drank them. Sakura stared at them for a second before her mouth dropped open. "Wait a second! Don't tell me you guys have never had a drink before!" Naruto shrugged. "We're underage. It's not like we can just walk into a store and buy some beer."

"Oh my God I don't know you guys anymore! C'mon Ino let's go dance!" Sakura grabbed Ino's arm before disappearing into the thick crowd. Deidara turned back to the other guys still sitting there uncertainly. "Well, we might as well enjoy it while we're here, un!" and with that he downed the rest of his beer and ran out to join the girls. The rest of the guys shrugged and followed suit.

Sometime later Sakura found herself dancing up close and personal with some random guy she met like five minutes ago. She had a pleasant buzz from the alcohol and couldn't quite tell what was going on. Excusing herself she made her way to a quieter corner of the club. On her way over she realized that kami hated her guts cause she just had to accidently trip and run into some dude, thus falling onto the floor on top of him. "Omg I'mz so sorry. Are yous okay?" Sakura asked slurring her words together while trying to get up and failing in her drunken state. "Sakura?" She looked down at the person under her. "Do I knows you?" Sakura finally managed to get up and the guy got up to dusting off his jacket. "It's Gaara. What the hell are you doing here? And are you drunk?" Sakura looked at him and finally noticed his flaming red hair and love tattoo.

Sakura giggled, her mind going totally fuzzy. "I don know. What happened to my drink?" She was starring sadly into her now empty cup that had its contents spilt when she fell to the ground. "Sakura!" She looked up at him startled that he had still been there. "What are you doing here?" Sakura set her cup down on a random table and gave Gaara the 'are you a fucking dumbass look' "Well obviously I am partying with my friends. What are yous doing here?" Sakura poked him in the chest and swayed a bit. Gaara smirked dangerously. "Well if you would've looked at the sign you would know." Sakura looked around the club confused until her eyes found a big neon pink sign that read 'Club Sabaku' on it. "Ohz… Damn. You aren't gonna tell anybodys that we used fake ID's to get in are you?" Gaara's smirk got bigger. "What's in it for me?" Sakura let out an exasperated sigh. "What do you want me to gives you a blow job or something?!" Gaara gave her a suggestive look and she made a disgusted noise. "Eww! You asshole! I'd rather get kicked out!" Sakura started to stumble away and saying obscenities under her breath. "Hey, wait." He grabbed her arm forcefully making her stumble and fall back onto him. "He gave her a careful look. "How much have you had to drink?" Sakura tried-unsuccessfully- to get off of him. "I don't kno. Umm… A lot?" Then Sakura started to giggle uncontrollably. Gaara growled at the oncoming headache he was getting. "Come on I'm taking you home." Sakura stopped giggling and gave him a hostile look. "I don't need yous to babysit me! I can get back perfectly fine on mys own!" Gaara ignored her and started dragging her out the door, giving a nod to the bouncers as he passed.

He guided her towards the corner of the parking lot and Sakura stopped dead. "You have a fucking mustang?" he smirk at her and walked over to the driver's side. "Yep and it would be nice if you got in so I could get your drunk ass home." Sakura glared at him. "Fucking asshole." She jumped into the car and crossed her arms. Gaara climbed in and turned the car on. It purred to life and Sakura couldn't help but let out a little sigh. This is one of the most luxurious cars she's ever been in. Gaara gave her a smug look and she glared at him again. "Just drive the damn car!" He turned back to the wheel and they flew out of the parking lot. They were in a comfortable silence for a while before Sakura turned to him with a creeped out look. "Wait… How do you know where I live?" He gave her a side glance and answered in a monotone voice. "I asked your friend Ino." Sakura pointed a finger at him. "Ino doesn't know where I live either. Are you stalking me?" He glanced at her again. "I am not a stalker." Sakura rolled her eyes. "Then how do you know where I live?!" Sakura watched him and waited for a response but he just ignored her and kept driving. Sakura glared at his silence and looked out the window before freezing. "Stop the car!" Gaara glared at her. "What? Why?" Sakura glared back at him. "Just do it! And turn all the lights off!"Gaara sighed and turned the car and lights off in a shadow from a building and looked at Sakura. "What?" Sakura didn't look away from the window as she whispered. "They're back… the watermelons!" Gaara raised an invisible eyebrow in question and looked out the window where, sure enough, Lee and Gai were taking a break from jogging and sitting on a bench in the light under a lamp and talking in depth about 'youthfulness'. Gaara groaned a little bit. "Can we please not do this right now because you're still drunk and I have to get back to the club before my dad realizes I'm gone." Sakura turned and growled at him. "For one I am not _that_ drunk, and two if we don't exterminate those… _things _then their kind will multiply and take over the world and everyone will walk around in horribly colored elastic suits and I will be the only normal one and eventually I'll end up killing myself from the barbarity and then the whole world will explode because it couldn't stand having something so horrid walk among its surface and just had to end its life and that is how the world will end and all the aliens will be laughing at our demise from one little elastic suit." Gaara stood their speechless as Sakura stood in a trance, stuck in her own world of horrors. She snapped out of her trance just as Gaara was about to put the keys back in the ignition. "Don't. You. Dare. I have a service to do for humanity and I am determined to get it done." Gaara threw his hands up in defeat and glared at her. "Okay fine. What's your amazing fucking plan?" Sakura thought for a second before cackling evilly and leaning in to whisper something in his ear.

Sakura was sitting in the bushes behind the currently occupied bench. She clicked a button on the radio she had in her hand and put it up to her mouth. "Panda. Come in Panda. Are you in position?" She let go of the button and waited a few seconds for a response. It crackled to life. "What the fuck Sakura. Why the hell am I in a tree? And I told you not to fucking call me Panda!" Sakura growled and pressed the button. "Shut up maggot! Do not question my authoritae! And I told you to call me blossom! They could be listening to our every word!" Skaura looked around paranoid for a few seconds as the radio stayed silent before coming on. "You're a real fucking piece of work, you know that right?" Sakura smiled. "I try. Now get in your position maggot!" Gaara grumbled profanities into the speaker before confirming that he was in position.

"Ok, get the buckets ready, I'm going in. Drop them on my mark!" Sakura ran out of the bushes before he could respond and surprised the two targets by jumping them from behind and pulling out four pairs of handcuffs out and cuffing their ankles to the bench legs. "The targets are in position! Drop the cement!" Gaara grunted in response and a second later gallons of concrete came tumbling down, casing the two people on the bench to their thighs. Sakura cackled and waved Gaara down to survey their handy work. "Well now all we need is to get rid of them." She turned to Gaara. "You got the gun?" Gaara started to reach into the back of his jeans and Sakura squealed. "I WAS JOKING! Don't actually pull a gun out!" Gaara shrugged and folded his shirt back down in the back. Sakura just stared at him before shaking herself and picking a branch up off the ground and turning to the hostages who were shocked into muteness. "Well here we are again, except this time I will make sure to finish the job! BWAHAHAHHAHA!" Sakura took the stick and hit them both really hard in the back of the head making them both fall into unconsciousness. She threw down the stick and wiped her hands on her dress before walking over to the car. She looked back behind her when she noticed Gaara wasn't coming. "You coming or not?" Gaara looked back at the bodies. "Are you just going to leave them like that? What if they call the cops?" Sakura waved his questions off. "Don't worry I hit them hard enough so they won't remember what they had for breakfast this morning." Gaara shook his head and walked back to the car with her. They got in and they silently started driving towards her house again.

Gaara pulled into the driveway of her house and poker her. No response. He poked her again. "Sakura we're here." Sakura snuggled closer into the side of the car and growled at him. "Fuck off, me sleepy." Gaara sighed and went to her side of the car and picked her up bridal style. He went up to the door and knocked on the door. She was probably going to kick his ass for letting her parents see her drunk and being brought home unconscious by a stranger. A woman with pink hair almost as vibrant as Sakura's opened the door and gasped quietly. "Sakura! What happened?! Who are you?!" Gaara tried to put on a reassuring face. "Sorry Mrs. Haruno, I'm Gaara. Your daughter was at my father's club and got a little intoxicated and being her classmate I thought it would be appropriate to bring her home before someone else took… advantage of her." Sakura's mom gasped and glared at her daughter while ushering them in the door. "Thank you Gaara. Please just call me Miyuu! Here you can lay her down in her room it's just up 'looked around the room and was surprised to find pictures of… Unicorns and rainbows all over the walls. Gaara felt himself sweat drop and set Sakura on the bed to get a better look at everything. The walls and bed were pink and there were pink fluffy frilly things everywhere. Miyuu turned the lights off and led Gaara back out of the room into the hallway where she quietly shut Sakura's door and turned apologetically to him. "I'm sorry for her behavior. Trust me when she wakes up I will be giving her a lesson." Gaara hid his smirk and nodded at her before she led him back down the stairs and out the door. She bid him good night and shut the door. Gaara finally let his smirk show and walked back to his car. _Yep, Sakura's definitely gonna kick my ass tomorrow._

Sakura's eyes opened slightly and she groaned at the feeling of her brain trying to bang itself out of her skull. She slowly got up from her bed and immediately ran to the bathroom and threw up what seemed like everything she's ever eaten in her life. After her heaving had stopped she got up and rinsed her mouth out and went back into her room. She looked at the clock on her wall and saw it said 1:42. She groaned as she felt her head spike painfully. She looked down at what she was wearing and tilted her head in puzzlement. _Why am I wearing my club dress? Why can't I remember last night…? _Suddenly the events came back to her all the way to when she fell asleep in Gaara's car. _Wait a second! How did I get back in my room?! Fucking pervert probably carried me up getting a good feel! I'm so going to kill him tomorrow! CHA!_ Sakura quickly changed into some comfy pajamas and slowly walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. Without turning the light on she went and grabbed a glass of water from the fridge and a pill bottle from the cabinet. She took a couple pills and swallowed them while downing the water. Throwing the water bottle away she went to walk back to her room when the lights turned on and she covered her eyes groaning as her headache got stronger. "Busted." She tensed and reluctantly opened her eyes to see her mom standing in front of her. "Uhhh… What do you mean mom?" _Yes act like the innocent teenager that has no idea what's going on!_ Her mom smirked at her and Sakura felt dread on her stomach. "You mean you don't remember anything from last night?" Sakura paled. "What happened last night?" Sakura's mom smiled evilly at her. "Oh you know what happened last night."

**END EPICALLY LONG FLASHBACK!**

And that's how Sakura got in her current predicament of being grounded in her room until she rotted. _Damn._

**THERE YA GO! HOPE YOU ENJOYED AND PWEASE REVIEW!**

**~SOPHIE **


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